The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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