they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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