Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
