i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
