Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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