Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Where is the hickey?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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