party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
