i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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