she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
3 2 1 whiskey
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
