I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
