Christians are straight up FREAKS
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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