Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
