those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
