well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
