Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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