I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
they need to just BURY HIM!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
