dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize