oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
