his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
