help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
True strength comes from lack of pants
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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