Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
