That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize