I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
