no. you can't hotbox the world.
you didnt know i had herpes?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
