he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
