They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
