New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
