I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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