I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
