I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
