i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
