i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize