I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
