My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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