I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
