I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
