Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize