I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
