Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
What drink are we having for lunch?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
