that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
