We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
