Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize