Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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