I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
