I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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