I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
