I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize