i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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