David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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