We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
how does that bad decision feel?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
