8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
