Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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