i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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