drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
