I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
