So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
