Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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