Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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