Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
