If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize