Got a toothbrush?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
