thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
