This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
