I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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