you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
