You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
