I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize