Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It was like getting head from an anaconda
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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