Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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