Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
