My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
