were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
