So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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