I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
