So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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