went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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