her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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