I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
