Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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