you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
