pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
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