to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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