I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
