my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
