Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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