i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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