it wasn't lemon gatorade
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
