got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
