4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
