I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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