so explain again why im purple
no
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
