Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I did not marry a roomba.
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