just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
