So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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